Self-Compassion: Give Yourself a Break!

If I have learned on thing from being on this planet, it is that life is hard. Tragedies strike, relationships end, jobs get terminated, and every news station will tell you the world is chaos. And yet, most people expect themselves to get up every Monday and go to work like nothing is happening. To put on a smile and say “Great!” when someone asks about your day. What about the days where you cannot fake it? When someone sees through your cracks and asks, “How are you really?”. Some may feel like they failed in getting through the day, but this is where it is so important to offer self-compassion.

Well, what is self-compassion? Dr. Kristin Neff has dedicated most of her life’s work into figuring that out and explain it to the world. Dr. Neff states that, “Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself [as you would others] when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring you pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop and tell yourself “This is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”.

Self-compassion is not letting yourself off the hook, but instead understanding that perfection is not attainable, and so failure is inevitable. It can mean accepting that there is still work to be done, but breaks are just as crucial. On Dr. Neff’s website she continues to dive deep into her work with what self-compassion is and what it is not. The links are attached below. Dr. Neff also hosted a beautiful TedTalk on self-compassion versus self-esteem. If you find yourself wanting more, this will also be attached below!

https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4

“Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?” -Dr. Kristen Neff