Grief

We all deal with grief time and time again throughout our lives. Loss is part of our world and part of our life. Some losses don't faze us or even cross our mind while others can send us through an unbearable process of bereavement. Grief is not only limited to the loss of a loved one but also to things such as the loss of a job, a limb, a possession or much more. To fully understand and come to accept our loss we need to be patient and open to the grieving process. There is no set time limit on grief nor is there a correct amount of time in which it should be done.

We all feel loss differently which means our process of grief will be different too. Just because two siblings lost the same parent does not mean that they will walk the same journey of grief. We must be patient with ourselves and allow feelings to come as they do. Sometimes we get stuck in feeling sad and are frightened when we feel happy. This is normal, but this does not mean that you must be sad forever to miss what you have lost. Some feel that they need to stay strong and not allow the loss to affect their day to day life. This too is unhealthy and can prolong the grieving process. If you are grieving, reach out to family, friends, support groups or a counselor. Once we have come to an acceptance our loss we can continue living a healthy life and allow loss to be part of our story.

Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial - We tend to deny our loss at first. It is hard for us to comprehend what is happening and in so we reject it at first. "This can't or isn't happening to me"
2. Anger - We are angry and have an urge to blame who or what has hurt you. We may be angry at the person who has passed, or the spouse that has left, or a higher power. We have no rational reason for the pain we are feelings so we question and blame in an effort to try to cope.
3. Bargaining - We have a sense of hope that we can reverse what has happened. We try to regain some type of control by making these bargains. "If I do this then…"
4. Depression - A sense of numbness comes with this stage. We may still feel sadness and anger but are now feeling the full effects of our loss and our life with that loss.
5. Acceptance - We may at times still feel the anger and sadness or our loss but have come to accept it as part of ourselves. This person can now look at the loss and feel some sense of comfort and peace.

We all deal with our loss in different ways with different timetables. Those who do not deal with their loss in a healthy manner or deal with it completely will find themselves in a life long battle with grief. If you have lost something or someone dear to you that you do not feel at peace with, please reach out to those who want to help you. We must nurture our losses and the process of grief so that we do not lose ourselves within the process.