Communicating with a Partner that is Anxious 

Anxiety can take over one’s mind and make even the most irrational beliefs feel like a real possibility. And though this can seem odd, it is not strange at all. According to the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), over 40 million adults in the United States have an anxiety disorder. Therefore, knowing how to communicate with a person who experiences anxiety is crucial, especially within a relationship. It is important when in a relationship with someone who has anxiety to discuss their symptoms and triggers in their daily lives. This can be as simple as discussing how anxiety affects sleep, mood, irritability, etc. Once that is discussed, one can start to be aware of when their partner may be feeling anxious and be able to offer support during that time.

When someone who does not experience anxiety is communicating with a person who does, it can be easy to want to rationalize and point out the flaws in their thinking immediately. However, do not minimize feelings. Instead, try to understand, or at least acknowledge, that the fear and worry the person is experiencing is real to them, even if it is not rational. Meeting a partner where they are at with compassion will go a long way. Once a person is met with empathy and acceptance, then they will be more open to conversations of logic.

The point in these conversations with a partner is not to get rid of anxiety, but to manage it. Anxiety often leads to people avoiding different things such as flying, conversation, taking a new risk, etc. This means it can also lessen the amount of life experiences with one’s partner. By encouraging and supporting a partner in new and scary steps in life, it is one more area where they are managing their anxiety and not letting it control their life.

However, sometimes talking at home and encouragement is not enough. It is important to know that supporting one’s partner with anxiety does not have to mean only one person is doing the supporting. Helping a partner seek treatment can be just as powerful and changing in a relationship. Needing outside help is not weak or less than, but instead shows a large amount of strength. This can still be scary though, so it could be helpful as a partner to help find therapist and do research into what treatment would be the best fit. Another option is to be involved in a partner’s therapeutic process. Overall, showing support and want to help will go a long way.

If you are someone who experiences anxiety, or a partner of someone who does, please reach out to me if you would like to talk more on this subject. Anxiety can cause difficulty in communication, but it is not impossible. Together I believe we can find what works best for you.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/24/744465884/how-to-help-your-anxious-partner-and-yourself#:~:text=Don't%20minimize%20feelings.&text=Try%20to%20understand%20your%20partner's,helping%20someone%20starts%20with%20compassion.

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Anxiety-Disorders#:~:text=Over%2040%20million%20adults%20in,develop%20symptoms%20before%20age%2021.