Let's Talk Boundaries (Holiday Edition)
- Written by Bridging Harts Staff
Let's have a quick chat about why boundaries are so important, especially during the Holiday season.
Boundaries are an essential part of self-care and can even impact our overall well being. Without boundaries, we can end up feeling taken advantage of, taken for granted, overworked, and depleted. Poor boundaries or complete lack of boundaries (in our personal lives or at work) may lead to difficult feelings like resentment, frustration, anger, hurt, and even burnout.
While boundaries are beneficial, they can be hard to set if you don't know where to start. One way to make boundary setting a bit easier for yourself is to go with a simple structure that is clear, concise, and direct while also being gentle. Here is my favorite formula for boundaries:
I feel _________________________________________.
When you _____________________________________.
Because _______________________________________.
I need ________________________________________.
For example, your boundary may sounds something like -
"I feel overwhelmed when you show up unannounced to my house because I'm unprepared to host. I need you to call or text me and ask if it's an okay time to come over."
Or your boundary may sound more like -
"I feel anxious when you come over without letting me know that you are ahead of time. I need you to text me before showing up."
There's no one exact right way to set your boundary but this formula can help give you a guideline to start with. The rest is up to how you prefer to word things. Remember, being clear and direct with what you need will help others understand what is acceptable and what is not. A clear boundary is easier for others to follow.
For a fun way to hear more about setting boundaries and expectations over the holiday season, check out these two episodes on the topic on Glennon Doyle's podcast called 'We Can Do Hard Things' (I'm loving that Glennon, her sister Amanda, and her wife Abby Wombach are all a permanent part of the podcast now!). These episodes are best suited for adults, so pop in some earphones and give it a listen if you're interested in hearing more about boundary setting!
Holiday Hacks episode linked below:
Holiday Pep Talk episode linked below:
Happy Holiday Season to you and happy boundary setting! 🙌✨